Tuesday, August 11, 2015

How My Trip to Jamaica with My Closest College Girlfriends Affirmed Me and Our Friendship

No.. I haven't stopped blogging. Even someone like me who fully enjoys her life deserves a little vacation from it all. :) For the first week of August I was in Jamaica living it up with my friends. I'm back now, but would like my first post to be a little more personal than usual. Here's another long one...

When I learned one of my closest girlfriends from college was set to get married in Jamaica this year I was overjoyed for a couple of reasons. One being that this would be the first time in seven years that all seven of my closest college girlfriends would be in one place, and because one of them had truly found the love of her life. EXCITING! Among the partying, sun bathing, tubing, and celebrating were a few very valuable lessons learned. I truly am a better woman thanks to Kimberly Floyd (Sleee lol ), MRS. Kisha Porcher (KeeshBeesh), Anyah Brou (Anyahybyah), Sarah Wooten (Sarahbarah), McAllister Windom (MAC), and Tracey Lucas (Trini)...and of course Im going to tell you why!

The seven of us go back to freshman year in college at Spelman. So, needless to say we have experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows together. We've had a couple of minor misunderstandings along the way, but we've managed to always mend our friendships among each other. All of us are different personalities, and strong ones at that - so the misunderstandings are just a part of it. What was obvious to me this week is that we have truly reached the point of understanding with one another.

It's one thing to be liked or tolerated,  but to know six other women know everything about you and love you still is an inexplicable feeling. We get each other. We know each other's answers to questions, biggest secrets, little quirky characteristics, and most of all we know each others hearts and spirits. We can tell when things aren't right. This week gave us many opportunities to test all of this and looking back I believe we passed every one. We are without a doubt very protective of one another's hearts and spirits. It was so obvious this week whenever one of us seemed down- the other six were looking around for who was to blame. We were ready at all times! lol Life is easier knowing you don't always have to explain yourself and that some people just get you.

Among the many experiences we had this week were the ones that challenged our fears and ideas about life. The blessing in having a group of smart, fun, and fierce women in your life is that no one is into the idea of settling in any way. This week I watched my friends force one another to conquer paralyzing fears, but we did it holding one another's hands or body! lol It was amazing and beautiful to realize that the many lows we've experienced together had woven the strongest web of trust amongst us that we would even place our very lives in one another's hands without question.

Life in itself has definitely made all of us into different women. Our professions are all over the place. We think about family, God, men, sex, life.. everything in our own unique ways. This week I realized that our convictions as individuals made for a safe place for honesty. We don't really tip toe around one another at all. We asked one another tough life questions, gave each other tough life answers, laughed until we cried multiple times,  and even checked one another a couple of times...all while fully embracing who we know each other to be. We gave one another space to be exactly who we are as individuals.

One part of the tip that wasn't very different from our everyday lives was our conversations. We talk everyday, but the one convo that stuck with me this week was one about our love lives. We've all been through so much in that way. It was also only fitting being that we were there sending the first of us off to married life. Some of us are currently dealing with some really crazy situations as I type. What was beautiful for me is the fact that we can look one another in the face and talk through it all. Some of our issues in this department are truly our own, and we were forced to own up to our part this week. When the issues arose that were not ours, we were forced to listen to the all too common, "girl he aint worth it." "Girrlll he doesn't deserve you!" "Youre beautiful and great, don't let this get you down.." and many more semi inappropriate things your girls say when you bring up the name of a guy who wasn't careful with your heart. :)

The many, "HIS loss!"es I heard floating around this week were refreshing. We accepted a few things about one another's love choices, and aimed to mend some things we know need to change in one another in that area. We all have a complex sense of what we want in a partner, some of us don't want one at all right now. We embraced all of that. The reality is that we are a group of fun spirited, strong willed, professional, but incredibly loving women. It's tough to find a man willing to fully commit to all of that no matter how great it sounds. We cried a bit, fought back some tears we were tired of crying, but I also think that for a couple of us we truly truly healed up some stuff..just another reason to surround yourself with great women..they will help you through!

I could go on and on with the experiences and aha moments I had this week, but I don't have time and you probably have read more than you thought you would either way. I just wanted to share with you the beautiful experience I had in Jamaica with my friends. We are scattered across the world, but we are walking life's journey together.. close and hand in hand. This week taught me so much about the value of friendship and sisterhood. These lessons started at Spelman, but life after that has forged a bond amongst us that is seriously unbreakable. If you have friends like this make sure you appreciate them. Be honest with them, love them as they are, push them to be the best they can be, but most important.. make time for them! Life brings about swift changes, and you can't always say what will happen. Make sure you've loved on your friends madly so that there are never any regrets.

Thank you BIBs for knowing me, understanding me, correcting me, laughing at me, encouraging me, but most of all, thanks for loving me back. Here is to 11 more years of life and lessons together, and once more congratulations Keesh.. welcome to the crew MoeBro! ~Kanish

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