When I left the projects in Cincinnati in 2004, for Spelman College. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I knew that I was going to become an educator to provide an equitable opportunity for all students, regardless of race, class, gender, or socioeconomic status, to learn. I was blessed with the opportunity from Ms. Sellers at Western Hills High School, to attend college. I knew that I always wanted to go to college, but didn't know how I was going to get there. She helped me bring this dream to fruition, and I want and do the same things for students of color in Prince George's County Maryland.
When I left Spelman, I knew that I would obtain my Master's degree at Teachers College Columbia University. When I left there, my Morehouse brother, Homer McCall blessed me with the opportunity to teach 12th grade Advanced Placement Literature and College Summit at a school in Temple Hills, MD. I was serving a middle class population; predominantly African Americans. I knew that when I started working at the school, it was a springboard to my doctoral degree. I became a doctoral student at George Mason University in 2012, and knew that I was going to become a professor that worked in an urban teacher preparation program to prepare teachers to work in urban areas.
Well, I actually have no idea what my next step will be. As you can see, I "knew' what my next steps, but the spirit has me in a place, where I have no idea what my next steps will be. I feel that I am ready to become a professor, but others say that it's time to become a principal. This made me frustrated, because I want to be in control. I realize that I need to relinquish my control, and surrender to the spirit's will for my life.
This feeling to always want to be in control, also came out in my yoga practice I was so focused on perfecting poses in my practice, as oppose to just honoring it as a "practice." I wouldn't even let go during the surrender series--savasana (corpse pose). The purpose of surrender series is to let go of everything, what ever happened during that day, and just be present. I am always so focused on what my next steps are, as oppose to just surrendering and letting the spirit guide me to just be present. I encourage you to surrender in those situations that you feel like you have to control. The spirit's plan is always better than yours. Let it guide you.
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