Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Love & Quality Time: Turning Boys into Men

"What a Man loves a Man honors. The issue is usually boy minds in man bodies. [...] The metamorphosis from boy to man has to be one of the most beautiful yet delicate changes that ever occur..ever. Unfortunately (& I don't know why- lack of Men fathers or emotional stability) many of our boys don't get there. We stress the importance of the role of the Man father in girls' lives. but I'd like to submit that it's even more important for boys. We talk a lot about there being a lot of hurt women out there, but there are a lot of hurt men out there as well."

I'm starting to believe that love is one of the solutions that can solve many of the relationship problems that we have today with each other. In the case of this quote KayKi made on twitter the other day, the love foundation truly needs to be built as a young child with our living fathers (not father like figures). I'm not a man, but I'm sure bonds are created just the same between young girls and their mothers. With that said, am I wrong when I state that our parents are the ones we subconsciously look to to figure out how to be an adult? Although there are other sources that may play a role in how we become the adult we are to be, they set the guidelines for what is acceptable behavior.

When you have a case where love and quality time may not have been well exchanged between a boy and his father, I have to fully agree with this quote. I agree because when I look at the men I know and look at how they interact with their own child(ren), I can see who has had the better relationship with their father. Those who happen to have better relationships, seem to be a bit more mature in certain areas than those who who haven't experienced good relationships. Those maturity levels are effected by what they picked up from their interactions with their father or lack there of. I've observed men who have no issue with jumping in, making sacrifices and getting things done for their child; while there are others who have to be told what to do in order build a basic relationship with them. The things that they do all happen based on what they want for their child and how bad they want it.

In the cases where there isn't a positive father-son relationship formed, these adult sons absolutely have to make the effort to be better fathers for their children. Even if they didn't have examples to learn from, it is 2014 and the internet is a great starting place to find answers. It may seem a little silly, googling search terms that will aid you in being a better parent (and man), but let's be real there aren't tons of books being written about the subject matter for nothing. Also, the fact that there is a market for parenting/relationship books should make you realize that you are not the only one who needs a bit of assistance. 

When we bring another being into this world, it has to be remembered that it is not about us anymore. It has to be remembered that the things we do are for the betterment of our children. There is no more moments of "Damn I don't want to do this" and actually not doing so. As a parent I won't dare say we can't whine and complain cause parenthood is not a walk in the park. I will say that once we get that little bit of complaining out, it's time to shake it off and handle the tasks at hand, no matter what they are. Being better parents to our young ones means that we are aiding in the cycle of metamorphosis from child to adult, 100%.

The piece above is crossposted from her site. Feel free to interact with her on twitter at @tiarahdenise.

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