Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Stepping into Adulthood

Now that you are an adult, you have to look in the mirror and realize you are the blame for a lot of emotional pain and bullshit that comes your way. You have to be honest with yourself about the role that you played in the situation. And while there are other parties who contributed to the problem, you have to remember you let them into your space. You're the one who chose to stay a minute too long in their company. I'm learning that adulthood is more than being a certain age and performing a set of actions that prove that you aren't a child anymore. It's going through life knowing that nobody else is responsible for your emotional well being, and those you would like to care about it, may have no interest whatsoever. In knowing all of that, you also have to be okay with it. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can truly be accountable for your happiness. One thing that seems to be forgotten in it's obviously glory, is that adulthood is about maturing mentally and being willing to accept 100% of the responsibility of your actions.

Along with accepting responsibility for your actions, you first need to understand the concept of being responsible. I'm noticing some can't accept the fact that they messed up, simply because the word "responsibility" means nothing much to them. Is it possible to accept something that has no meaning to you? Probably not. As we grow in terms of responsibility, we learn and make mistakes; but how many repeated mistakes are the difference between just that and preferring to live a certain lifestyle? Preferring to be a certain type of person? There is a line between messing up and just being a straight up irresponsible person in certain, if not all areas of life.

With adulthood there has to be balance between a few things to make you happy and from what I discovered, independence and interdependence is one, while logic and emotion is another. In the case of independence and interdependence, you have to learn how to provide and sacrifice for yourself and all your needs along with learning when to ask for help and when to lean on others emotionally/mentally. Too much independence can wear you down physically and mentally. It's okay to let people step in and lend a hand from time to time- just as long as you're willing to do the same for them. In the case of logic and emotion, I've seen that too much of one can do more harm than good. Too much of logic can stop you from experiencing life's random well needed experiences; while leading with too much emotion and feelings lands you in situations that could have been avoided. While adulthood isn't all jokes and play, we have to make sure that while we're being responsible, we are enjoying ourselves too.

I mention all of this because even as grown up as we feel, some of us aren't truly there. If I had known what to expect and what was expected of me, I feel my years since turning 18 would have been a lot less stressful and more productive. Productive with me actively transitioning from young adulthood into late 20s-close to 30 adulthood with ease and landing on my feet by the time me and 30 were face to face. Knowing these things about what adulthood is, is great but it has to be known that isn't enough. Each morning we have to make the conscience decision to put on our adult shoes (which still may be a bit too big) and step out into the crazy world that's always ready to test us and our growth.

The piece above is crossposted from her site. Feel free to interact with her on twitter at @tiarahdenise.

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