Thursday, November 7, 2013

Balancing Act: How Do You Prioritize Parenthood?

We only have one life to live, and what dictates how great it can be are the choices we make every day. And while we wear multiple labels, it doesn't mean that we always wear them well. Some folks wear them and fly under the radar silently, while putting in work to make sure that label shines brightly when inspected closely. Then there are others who brag loudly that they are this or that, but don't do any work that backs up just how great they are at doing their job. Why is it that the work doesn't always match up with the assigned label? Daily choices my dear, daily choices.

On the subject of parenthood, there is no good reason as to one may slack off or be a deadbeat parent. Granted there are cases where children are brought into the world to parents who weren't 100% ready, it doesn't mean that they are excused from doing what they are supposed to do. It doesn't matter how the pregnancy happened. Two people made a choice to have relations and since they made that choice together, they can continue to make the daily decision to do right by their child- whether they wanted it or not.

As a single mother the relationships that my daughter has with others is very important. Yes, she may have aunties and uncles that she's tight with, but if our bond isn't stronger than those, clearly I'm doing something wrong. The bond between parent and child is irreplaceable, and I believe that a lot of dysfunction down the road can be prevented if that foundation is created from the beginning. Not when they're 7 years old and know whats going on. Not when they can make it clear that parent #2 isn't someone that's as important as their other family members.

Now am I the greatest mother ever? Heck no, but everyday I rise at 6am and make sure I do my best with letting my daughter know how much I love her. Letting her know that she will always be safe and provided for to the best of my abilities. While it may seem like it's an effortless thing to do, I actively have to make the choice to do what's best for her, no matter how tired I am. It's easy to throw myself into a blog post I'm writing, or get lost in a set of photos I need to edit. It's easy to only think about things I need to do for me-but don't have time to because I'm always in mother mode. However I do the opposite, not looking for a pat on the back or anything of the sort. But because I love her, I helped create her, and want the best for her.

What are some things that you actively have to make the choice to do? Do you use this same attitude with dreams/goals you have?

The piece above is crossposted from her site. Feel free to interact with her on twitter at @tiarahdenise.

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