We live in a time where families aren't the nuclear version we
were raised to achieve. In 2013 families are blended officially and
unofficially and that goes for celebrities as well. They are regular people
just like us and are not exempt from the behaviors we share. A couple of
weekends ago I saw a photo of Ciara posing with her soon to be sis-in law and
two of her fiancé's children's mothers. Being a "baby mama" out of
three, I saw this and thought that was great to see. Of course in the comments
section there were those who felt the opposite of my positive feelings, which
definitely rubbed me the wrong way.
What people need to realize is
that while there are people who are messy, dishonest and immature, etc., we are
not all the same. That there are truly levels to how people operate, and it's
not a race or class thing. With that said, in this type of situation the best
thing that all parties can do is make sure that they can be mature adults. When
children are involved with former/present lovers, it’s easy for the children's
needs and well being to be tossed to the side and the focus of the situation to
be the feelings involved. And while I understand why that is, it has to be
remembered that the children didn't ask or create this drama. They don't
deserve to be surrounded and confused by the negative energy. We tend to forget
that children pick up on a lot of things and it affects them in a bad way.
Keeping the peace isn't
just something that women need to do, but men need to do the same. There are
many different situations but as a whole, basic respect needs to be given to
everyone involved. That means the extended family members as well. Grandma and
mother need to get along, just like with the child's aunties and uncles. The
way the adults interact with each other dictate how that child will be able to
interact not only with them but also with their children who may be their
cousins. I'm all about family and everyone getting along because that is how it
should be. And while all families are not nuclear, mine included, it doesn't
mean that we automatically have to hate each other. Who wants to spend a
lifetime filled with awkward moments and drama? I don't know about you guys, but
whether it is getting along with my daughter's father's mothers of his
children, or the mother of my potential husband's child (if applicable), it's
something that will be done because it is always the right thing to do, no
matter the circumstance.
The piece above is crossposted from her site. Feel free to interact with her on twitter at @tiarahdenise.
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