Monday, November 18, 2013

Blended Families: Can we all just get along?

We live in a time where families aren't the nuclear version we were raised to achieve. In 2013 families are blended officially and unofficially and that goes for celebrities as well. They are regular people just like us and are not exempt from the behaviors we share. A couple of weekends ago I saw a photo of Ciara posing with her soon to be sis-in law and two of her fiancé's children's mothers. Being a "baby mama" out of three, I saw this and thought that was great to see. Of course in the comments section there were those who felt the opposite of my positive feelings, which definitely rubbed me the wrong way.
What people need to realize is that while there are people who are messy, dishonest and immature, etc., we are not all the same. That there are truly levels to how people operate, and it's not a race or class thing. With that said, in this type of situation the best thing that all parties can do is make sure that they can be mature adults. When children are involved with former/present lovers, it’s easy for the children's needs and well being to be tossed to the side and the focus of the situation to be the feelings involved. And while I understand why that is, it has to be remembered that the children didn't ask or create this drama. They don't deserve to be surrounded and confused by the negative energy. We tend to forget that children pick up on a lot of things and it affects them in a bad way.

Keeping the peace isn't just something that women need to do, but men need to do the same. There are many different situations but as a whole, basic respect needs to be given to everyone involved. That means the extended family members as well. Grandma and mother need to get along, just like with the child's aunties and uncles. The way the adults interact with each other dictate how that child will be able to interact not only with them but also with their children who may be their cousins. I'm all about family and everyone getting along because that is how it should be. And while all families are not nuclear, mine included, it doesn't mean that we automatically have to hate each other. Who wants to spend a lifetime filled with awkward moments and drama? I don't know about you guys, but whether it is getting along with my daughter's father's mothers of his children, or the mother of my potential husband's child (if applicable), it's something that will be done because it is always the right thing to do, no matter the circumstance.
The piece above is crossposted from her site. Feel free to interact with her on twitter at @tiarahdenise.

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