Thursday, December 3, 2009

Stop The Hate:

Dear Tiny, Toya, & Monica hater,
Ok- this is a long one BabyKayks :) LOL..I recently came across a blog that someone had written concerning a few ladies in the spotlight. The blogger (still not clear on who he is) basically made an effort to bash Monica, Toya, & Tiny's character as good women and role models(you can see the whole blog on mto or bossip..dont remember where the person said they got it from).I wanted to blog about this because I see it so much.

When I heard that Tiny & Toya were coming out w/a show I honestly had very little interest in watching. That little interest was that when I was little, my bff and I swore we were SWV & Xscape!:) So to hear that Tiny was doing anything I was slightly interested in watching. Honestly I thought I'd watch the first show and probably not be interested in watching again. Im not sure why I felt the show would be boring to me, but I really did. So when the awards went off and I sat to watch it, from the door my idea of the type of show it would be was shut down.

I saw that both Tiny and Toya were not just the fiance/ex wife of two of the hottest rappers alive, but that they were real women with character who loved their families and were trying to make a name for themselves save Wayne & Tip's girls. I was glued to the genuine nature of the ladies. I've never been a big Wayne fan so, I didnt really care to know anything about Toya, but the more I watched the show as with many people, you cant help but to think...WHAT was Wayne thinking!? She's cute, sweet as pie, and obviously loves the man, so..? Then I started to appreciate her honesty about family and her own struggles. Toya showed herself to be someone that women can identify with,and by following her on twitter the heart that she has is even more obvious. She loves and speaks well of Wayne's other children and their mothers which is to be complimented by itself! She just was a real woman on the show doing what she had to for the betterment of her family.

Tiny gave me the same energy. I loved that she made it clear that she had what she had before Tip, but I also love that she wasnt afraid to show that she loved her man. I appreciated Tiny for being so honest. I enjoyed watching her with her children and parents. Its rare these days that parents see a gift in their children and immediately invest in them which is what Tiny did! I was also following both ladies on twitter and I loved/hated that Tiny would get into disputes with people on there. I loved it because it showed how passionate, serious she is about protecting her family. I hated it because I felt like she was preaching to the choir. These are people who dont know her personally but have soo much negativity to say about her. This leads me to my main point.

WHY have these ladies caught so much slack? Honestly what I say or the other bloggers or haters say shouldnt matter whether good or bad, because we are merely on the outside looking in. My issue with all of the negativity is that Im looking at the same women the haters are and I dont see the problem. The blogger who wrote the story mentioned above wrote some ill things about the ladies and their lifestyles. Do I think having children out of wedlock, or living with your boyfriend is the best idea? No I dont! But as a Pastor's daughter, practically born and raised in a church I've also never seen anywhere between Genesis & Revelations where a child/pregnancy is a sin. The sin is the ACT before marriage that produced the child..which Im positive the person who wrote that blog has committed... so start with the man in the mirror.

The blogger also tried to blast Toya for Wayne having a few baby mamas...this is when I decided that whatever I was reading was absolute foolery. Sir..are you not smart? Please somebody tell me what Toya could do to stop Wayne from sleeping with anybody- this is her fault how? And again...children are blessings and these people are making the best out of the situation..who are you to judge? The blogger also said that Tip hasnt married Tiny and that they live together and thats wrong. Well again my response to that is as Jesus said, John 8:7 if you are perfect then throw stones..till then go somewhere and sit down (thats my interpretation LOL)! - it was just a bunch of unnecessary hate covered up by a great choice of words depicting a careful tone. I was so annoyed. When will this stop?

So what younger girls can look at Tiny & say oh, she lives with her fiance so its ok..but they can also look at Tiny and say Wow..she's a writer/entrepreneur! I want to start my own business and be positive like that! They can look at Toya and say oh she had a baby really young so its ok, but they can also look at her and look at all that she's been through and she's remained positive. Look how she cares for her family, I want to have that type of heart and spirit no matter what. Over all this is life, and nobody walking on this earth is perfect, you always take a persons good with their bad, whether the blogger knows this or not.

Now, I dont personally know either ladies save our twitter relationship. I've communicated w/ Tiny a couple of times on there but they arent my girls or anything like that. This isnt me defending them for that reason. Im defending them because I can appreciate young black women trying to do something good. I see their hearts not just on the show but their positivity and encouragement on twitter as well as involvement with other charity organizations. Lets talk about that! And as I would be with anybody, Im bothered that one can look past all of this and see a few minor life choices that arent what you'd like and brand them as incapable of being role models.

The blogger mentioned Monica as well, but she responded and handled hers, so I dont have much to say about that but one thing. The blogger said Monica quotes scriptures but lives with her boyfriend. SIR! If you knew any better you'd know that the power of God's Word is not predicated on anybody's lifestyle. It is power in itself. My dad told me once that the Word of God will go forth even if it comes through a hellish mouth! Im not saying that about Monica- I have nothing but love & respect for her. My point is we put so much power in the person and forget that God's Word doesnt need anybody to be holier than Thou to speak it. So you dont have to be perfect to speak God's Word..its His word if I speak it or if Jesus speaks it. If Mr. Blogger is a believer as he writes..he'd know that. If Monica is quoting scripture its because she understands what scripture can do.

So again, Im just too through. Im planning to go to Kandi's tweet and meet Sunday, and also have been working on some material for the OMG girlz, so Im sure my paths will cross with these ladies in the near future. If&when they do Im going to make sure I pet them on the backs and tell them how much of an encouragement they have been to me without even knowing it. In an effort to counter some of this wack negativity people cant live without. No, Im not a single mom or haven't experienced similar life issues, but I have been encouraged in other ways. They all have said things on their shows/twitter that have really encouraged me. From just stepping out and doing my music (Tiny& Mo)to having my little brother come here to Atl to live with me because its better for him (Toya).

These are positive LIFE changing influences that these women have not only had on me as a young lady coming up, but millions (obviously) of other young women and men. If thats not being a role model I dont know what is. Id like to challenge that blogger to be a role model himself and start writing positive things that will uplift people and not tear them down. Obviously he's never seen the Tiny & Toya or Still Standing Shows, or he'd know better right? Lol TNT BabyKayks :)

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