So, this morning I had a long interesting conversation with one of my girl friends about insecurities and self love. My girl's blatant expression of frustration made me think hard about my own insecurities. She began to point things out to me physical and emotional, that she just couldnt stand about herself. Things that are in no way obvious to me, or anyone else for that matter. She made me reflect on what Im not totally comfortable with in myself things like: my head shape ( because I think its shaped like tweetie bird's, lol!), my hands are really long and slinder, my legs are not as thick as I'd like, I mean the list goes on and on and on...lol. All of these things that I have problems with people have either loved about me, or think Im insane for paying attention to them. This whole ordeal just made me think guys... WHY are we so caught up on something as insignificant as our physical make up?
Really, why is it that something so relative and fleeting is of so much importance? Really, what is pretty to me is ugly to the next person and so on. On top of that, there is no way to be perfect physically is there? We're literally aging every day, slowly but surely, yet we spend hours in the mirror trying to reach some sense of perfection or acceptance with ourselves. I remember my dad telling me when I was little that I was beautiful, " so that when another man tells you that, you can say- I already know", but why is that such affirmation for us? In reality, grace in beauty is loving your flaws. Loving the things about you that are not likeable...and understanding that the things that are likeable probably wont be in a few years, lol.It is accepting the fact that you are merely a result of God's creative imagination, and therefore uniquely and wonderfully made!
I must admit that even with the slew of things that I can find on my body that Im not 100% excited about, I can name many more things about myself as a whole that I absolutely adore! I guess what it comes down to is the understanding that All of the things that make me Kanisha Kionna McSwain, are becoming of ME. Also that to be beautiful or pretty, or sexy is so relative, and such a combination of attitude and grace. As hard as it is, we have to learn to embrace all of what we are- even the things we'd like to change..that way you begin to love yourself minus the make up, girdles, baggy clothes, weaves, nails, diets. Seriously, because at the end of the day you have to take it all off and there will still be just you.
Now Im not saying to not be healthy, or do things that you feel are cute or whatever, but what I am saying is dont masquerade behind those things. THEY DONT ADD VALUE TO YOU AT ALL. I thank God that my insecurities are my own and not because I want to look a certain way for people (thats a totally different blog), but either way they are insecurities. Find a way to be secure with yourself as a whole- just as you are. Stop hiding from who you are behind all of these ideas of perfection and glamour. You're not going to love everything about yourself. When you begin to realize your purpose on this earth anyway, you'll begin to understand how insignificant your physical flaws are. I sometimes think, what a world this would be if people spent as much time trying to perfect their hearts and character as much as they do their blemishes and naps. Some of you probably have no idea what you really look like because youve been hiding in insecurity soo long. Love you- as you are first- pull your hair back today..and face yourself. TNT BabyKayKs
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